Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin Test How Well They Know Each Other

[Interviewer] How long have you known each other?

50 years.

[Interviewer] Have you been friends that whole time?

Yeah.

Except when she gets the part and I don't.

Then I stew about it for quite a while.

Then I call up her hair and makeup and I say,

Give her a bad haircut just once.

Give her something so that she has to suffer too.

Who wouldn't wanna be friends with this?

I mean, yes. [both laughing]

[lively upbeat music]

I'm Jane Fonda

and my life's ambition is to thoroughly plumb

this one for Vanity Fair.

My name is Lily Tomlin

and my ambition is to de-plumb this one.

How many times have I hosted SNL?

Four.

Well, kinda close.

I've hosted about three times I think,

and I've guested a couple of times.

Someone pick that up.

Lily, how many times

have I been arrested while protesting?

Oh my God.

Maybe like 1,011.

I don't- I wish.

I wish. 150?

No. [laughs] 13?

Six.

[both laughing]

Only six times?

Yeah.

I can't believe only six.

Then I have something to live for.

I could probably catch up to you.

You could.

What was the last thing I ordered online?

I didn't complete my answer.

Adult diapers.

[laughs] No, no, I have a life supply.

I ordered some weighted--

A weighted blanket?

Yes.

Did you order a weighted blanket?

And I hate it.

You do?

I love my weighted blanket.

It like crushes my body.

Well, what's the matter with your body?

And then I read a whole bunch

of the complaints people wrote.

Really? Yeah.

Did you get like a high quality weighted blanket

with another color and a nice fabric?

I got like something that was sort of like--

Well, talk to me before you order something online.

Mine is woven. You could've given me one.

Well, I didn't know you wanted one.

I want anything you have, including your children.

I'd like to- [both laughing]

What one word would I use to describe myself?

Courageous, brave? Yeah.

Foolhardy? Your turn.

When did I first realize I was famous?

When your father would stand you up on the bar

and ask you to sing for the customers.

Yeah, I was pretty famous at Parrs Bar.

[both laughing]

That's right.

My dad used to take me to the bar

and have me stand on the bar and all that stuff,

so he must've thought I was gonna become--

Well, that's where you get your intuition.

Your dad had a very good intuition, and you do too.

Yeah.

If only I could listen to one song, what would it be?

What?

Well, you're supposed to answer.

No, I'll just answer for you.

Yeah.

I think it would be Froggy Went A-Courtin'.

[both laughing]

You know that song?

'Course I do.

[both laughing]

Who is my favorite comedian?

I love this one. Oh gosh.

Ruth Draper.

She wasn't- Oh, she wasn't a comedian,

but she was-- She was one

of your favorites. Great model and artist.

Wanda Sykes. Yeah, I did say Wanda Sykes.

You looked at my paper.

I did. Oh, you're so naughty.

I cannot tell a lie.

What was my proudest moment?

Mm.

I think your proudest moment was when your father

won his Oscar. Oh, you read it.

No, I didn't read it!

I didn't read it. You didn't?

Oh my God, she's plumbed me.

I didn't. Yes.

I didn't read it.

I knew you were so proud of that.

Yes.

I'm so proud of you.

Oh my gosh.

You actually listened to me.

Of course I do. You listened to me.

She really, really listen to me.

[chuckles] What's my most unusual habit?

What is your most unusual habit?

[Lily scribbling] [Jane laughs]

I don't know.

You know, I have a '39 Wurlitzer Peacock Jukebox,

and I was born in the year of '39.

I think I was born the day Hitler marched into Poland,

but I didn't know it at the time.

[both chuckle]

Anyway, whenever anybody comes over,

I show them my jukebox and I play it.

Oh!

My big habit was when I used to book

my father's bets at the race track.

When I was a kid.

You did tell me that once,

and I should've remembered that.

Yeah. No, I don't know why

anybody would remember it.

Who is my favorite ex-husband?

You know this.

You know that answer.

I think it's Tom.

No, is it Ted?

Yeah. [bell chimes]

What was my favorite episode of Grace and Frankie?

Oh my gosh.

Oh this should be easy.

Mic Drop?

No. No?

It's the first and the last episodes.

The first episode, when we started the whole series.

You liked that?

I loved it. You did?

Well, because it was painful, it was hard,

and then we re-prepared ourselves for the Peyote scene by--

Taking Peyote? That's right,

and had a real Kanuni person come

and take us up in the mountains and do a ritual.

You were quite taken.

I think that's what set you back,

and you had to go study acting

for like a whole summer.

[both laughing]

And then the last episode

which I cannot tell you about,

[laughing]

with Dolly is on our show and it's just--

That's my favorite. It's so wonderful.

That's my favorite. Yeah.

What do I spend the most money on?

Well, most of it you give away.

[bell chimes]

That's it, that's the answer, closes.

I know so much about her.

She knows very little about me.

'Cause I'm an enigma. [chuckles]

You are, you're very mysterious.

What was my first job?

You're first job

was working in a hospital

on the maternity floor.

[laughs]

This was years before.

Lemonade, you had a lemonade stand?

No.

What? I had a dying business.

What does that mean?

I did chores for all the neighbors

in our apartment house for a dime.

I had a draw full of dimes.

I ordered a bunch of stuffs out of a Red Ryder comic book.

It said, COD, send no money.

And a bunch of junk-like

flies and plastic, ice cubes,

and sneezing powder and all that kind of junk.

Yes.

And it came with $11

and my mother met me at the draw after school

she said, I wanna know if you ordered a bunch of junk

out of the comic book?

[gasps]

And then she said,

You can have it when you can pay me back.

And that's how you did it.

I said how is a kid supposed to get any money?

And she said, 'You can do chores for the neighbors.

And I knew things about them--

Okay aside from you,

who is a former costar I still keep in touch with?

Oh my gosh, a lot of them.

Diane keaton,

Mary steanburgen.

[bell chimes] Yap.

Yap.

How do you like that?

Okay, which award do I need to complete an EGOT?

Oscar. [bell chimes]

Yeah.

But I have a Peabody.

So do I.

Oh.

[both laughing]

How many Peabodys?

One.

I have two. Ow!

I have two Oscars.

Oh damn you.

You have how many Tonys?

I have two Tonys.

Well, I have none, so there you go.

Oh, okay. Yeah.

And how many Emmys do you have?

I have eight.

Well, I have one, see.

How many Golden Gloves?

I don't even know.

I don't keep track of that.

I have six.

[both laughing]

I'm sure I don't come close to your stash.

Yeah, you don't.

[both laughing]

What is my biggest fear?

Your biggest fear is dying.

I'm not afraid of dying.

Oh, are you kidding?

Every time you think of it you cry.

I think of you dying I cry too.

Your biggest fear is me dying?

[both laughing]

I'm not afraid of death.

I can't do anything about it

but its being on stage and not knowing why I'm there.

Oh God, yeah, do you have dreams about it?

Yeah. I do too.

I can't find my make-up,

I don't know what costume,

I haven't seen the script.

The script that I have is eligible

and I have to go on stage.

And I do, and I make it through.

I mean-- Sure.

Yeah.

I think that's an all actors nightmare.

Yeah, I guess it is.

What is your question?

What is my biggest fear?

Being on stage and not knowing why you're there.

Okay.

Wait, who's counting the points?

How do they know...

If she just slaps me an answer inadvertently

do I get that point?

Yes.

What is my go-to workout?

[exhales calmly]

Well, I think it's the exercise

that you do for a person over 50.

Which means what?

Maline.

Yes. [bell chimes]

It means slow.

Slow.

And cautious.

Right, no wreckage. Right.

So you answered the question.

I knew I would.

Yes, we share the same trainer.

We try to know each other.

But you know I'm an enigma.

She is.

I can never be fully plumped.

[lively upbeat music]