Sabrina Carpenter Creates Her Self Portrait

I think over the last year I've heard

from a lot of people like,

Wow, she's just like the horniest girl alive

because sometimes in my songs

I say some crazy things on stage.

But I'm actually a very normal amount of horny.

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Hello, I'm Sabrina Carpenter

and today I'm going to be painting my self-portrait.

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Drawing for me is the most free-handed pastime activity

that I have in my whole life.

Like, I don't really ever think about it.

I don't think about the outcome,

I don't think about what I'm doing before I do it,

I just sort of do it for fun,

which I guess in a sense is like the most pure thing

that's ever come out of my mouth.

But I really do see it as more just like something I do

that makes me happy as opposed to something I do

with the intention of hoping it turns out great.

I think even this is probably like a weird version of me

that's not actually what I look like in the mirror.

I've just always had like light hair, dark eyebrows,

blue eyes, and I didn't realize that that would be the thing

that kind of haunts me for the rest of my life.

Because my bangs and my dark eyebrows, I can't really...

Even wearing a mask doesn't really do much

if I'm trying to be incognito.

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I think for me right now,

you aren't ever really going to fully control

the way that people see you.

That is something I've have to re-accept kind of every day.

I'm at a point now where I'm trying

to just sort of not take it so seriously,

and the things that people say,

just know that these are people that have

very little context on me as an actual person.

So that makes me feel a little bit better.

But if I'm going to be super real,

do I like that someone can just take a photo

from the craziest angle on human earth?

No, 'cause I'm a girl and, you know...

That maybe is my least favorite thing about being on tour,

'cause I'll be like, That's what I look like?

But it's a video, so I'll just be like,

No, that was some other girl.

That was my alter ego. That wasn't me out there.

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It hasn't really shifted other than the fact

that I think it's really exciting and heartwarming now

that when people come up to me

it's because of the songs that I write.

I mean, they're so close to me and they're so personal.

It's like an extension of me.

Whereas shows and different films I've worked on,

they're collaboration of so many different people

coming together to create a product,

as opposed to just all the pressure

sort of being on me and the words I'm saying.

I've always felt the safest to create

when I'm in the recording studio.

Specifically, I have some favorite studios of mine

and they usually have a very outdoor essence to them.

I love being close to the outdoors when I'm writing.

It's where I've always just felt kind of the safest

to experiment.

At least when you're in the studio, nothing has be final,

nothing has to come out,

so I feel really free to just kind of try things.

The one album that inspired me to really follow my gut

in experimenting with genre

and not limiting myself was Lemonade.

Like it really transcended every genre.

She had kind of a little bit of everything in that album,

and that really made me feel like I didn't have

to just stay in a box from there on out.

So thanks, Beyonce. I love you.

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It's a bit of a shitshow right now as I'm 24.

A process of making mistakes and not trying to stay up

every night thinking about those mistakes,

but rather just being like,

This was bound to happen as you are 24

and give yourself some grace to move on and learn from it

and maybe write songs about it.

So I think it's a mixture of that,

and then a mixture of just trying not to take it all

so seriously and have fun.

And I guess essentially what they say

are the times you're going to look back on

and feel like you were really forming a lot

of who you ended up becoming.

So I try to give myself the opportunity to do that.

I try to make decisions now that maybe I'd be too afraid

to make because I'm young and I can get away with more.

I'm on the bangs. This is looking great.

I literally cut my bangs 'cause someone broke my heart

and I was just like, I have to do something.

And I'm not usually one of those people that has to make

like rash decisions when their feelings are hurt,

but that was my first real heartbreak,

and so I guess it just sparked that initial like,

I have to do something different.

But I never wanted to dye my hair

'cause I always really felt comfortable as, you know,

blonde the way I was born.

I really think that the beauty of being this age

is some days you can feel like truly borderline

so conceited and obnoxiously confident,

and then all it takes is someone saying one thing

that just strikes a chord in you to be like,

I'm actually the ugliest person ever exists.

And then it kind of is a big flip-flop.

But I think, for me, I feel like I have better things

to worry about than the way that I look.

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Yes. I do feel...

Yeah, I'm not going to lie,

I definitely feel like a little bit more pressure

on the words that I choose to say

and just in general kind of like decisions.

But I then also have to think about it on the scale of like,

if the people that are judging my answers so harshly

and critically were put in the same position,

would they nail it and crush it every time?

Probably not. So then I feel a little bit better.

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I think over the last year

I've heard from a lot of people like,

Wow, she's just like the horniest girl alive

because sometimes in my songs

I say some crazy things on stage.

But I'm actually a very normal amount of horny.

And also just a lot of it is because I'm able

to kind of have fun and play

and when I'm doing these live shows,

it's just a matter of not taking things too seriously

and I love play on words and I love funny innuendos.

It's just always been something that makes me laugh.

So yeah, I'm not the horniest girl alive for sure.

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A lot of people have careers that I admire

for different reasons.

Stevie Nicks is one of my favorite artists.

She's just such a legend.

Margot Robbie is someone I love.

I like the choices that she makes

and how she kind of is able to really showcase herself

and all her talents in very different ways

and produces a lot of the stuff that she makes.

I think that's really impressive and amazing.

Zendaya. Obsessed with Zendaya.

And I think that she's always, again,

kind of really just remained so true to herself.

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I would say in the last few years especially,

people that have come into my life have really affected

the music that I've made and what I've written about

and what has felt important enough to write about.

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I'm actually quitting

to become a professional painter in France.

And yeah, I'm only specifically making paintings

for the Louvre right now exclusively,

but I might write another song at some point.

I almost love playing on the idea

of like what a pop star is or isn't,

'cause I think it's so many different things.

But no, I like being a pop star, I'm not going to lie.

I have so many tricks up my sleeve.

My favorite thing about this time of my life

is I feel really, really inspired to just continue

to write and write about the things that confuse me

and make me happy and make me sad and make me excited.

And I think I felt a lot more comfortable in my own voice

after my last album came out

and just that tour brought me a lot closer to my fans

and I can just kind of have fun with it now, which is nice.

Honestly, the pandemic sort of did a lot for me,

'cause I just really realized in that period of time

that all of this is very uncertain

and it makes me happy to write music

regardless of if someone hears it or no one hears it.

Like, I just love writing music because I love it.

And that made me kind of want to just feel

a little bit more loose in what I was writing

and not having to worry so much

about the aftermath of it all,

more just like, This is what feels honest.

And it felt like a really big weight off my shoulders.

I think my whole thing is I just want to keep

surprising myself and learning

that I could do things I didn't know I could.

Like this painting.

I really am not like a painter, I'm more of a drawer,

so the painting was like a little scary to me,

but this is really therapeutic, I'm not going to lie.

I've gotten paint everywhere.

But other than that, this is super chill.

I'm done.

Should I sign it?

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Voila, question mark.

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Do I have to look like that?

Because then they're going to be like,

That looks nothing like her.

So in my head, this is what I look like.

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I think that's something that we all need

to remember more, though, is like these answers are fleeting

as I am changing and evolving like every two seconds.

Same with everybody, you know?

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